Sadness can come during the happiest of times and happy moments can come during dark ones. There aren't any rules to what your heart can feel. I think letting all of this wash over you and not trying to control it or analyze it too much or label it is wise. Maybe you're feeling sorry for yourself or maybe you're not. It doesn't really matter. You wrote something beautiful. That matters. You're appreciating good moments and mourning the hard ones. Keep getting out of bed when you can and get back into it when you need to. I think this is just life right now and adding any judgment to how you're living it is unnecessary. Easier said than done, of course. But I think you're doing what you need to do, which is relinquishing control and just being, and soon you'll find your rhythm in whatever this new life is.
Dearest Daniela feel sad because that is appropriate, feel angry, feel your feelings because that is what it is to experience the loss of what was important to you. No one can tell you how or what or why or what you should feel. You will come back to yourself when you are ready.
We understand your sadness (Daphne and I). The whole world seems to be in a place of dreadfulness right now.
Your columns and cooking tips have always been helpful to me. But your writing about other things in your life in the lead in to your recipes are always very important - they humanize the cooking, which is important to us home cooks. It really helps me in creating recipes and using yours effectively - I don't know why. Perhaps it is a function of being very nearly 90 years old.
I don't expect to live many more years. I'm very lucky to have made it this far, and to have a truly wonderful wife of 50 years. You inspire me to keep being useful with the cooking.
I have had some very close calls with death, some as a Naval aviator, another recently due medical problems. Good friends have helped recover from these things, but more difficult have been love gained and lost, before I met Daphne, and time living on the street when I lost my job. The stupidity of the Washington Post in eliminating 30% of their staff will haunt them. I never read the EV anymore. Treasure your child. By now I have great grandchildren.
Fell free to hibernate. Look to cooking when it comforts you. Send out a recipe when it seems worth while for the rest of us. We will always subscribe to whatever you can manage to produce. Write some poetry - has helped me in the past.
We have, most of us, been in that quicksand ourselves. Someday it will give way to something new, a new inspiration, a new ability to relax into comfort. Meanwhile, enjoy Frito. Meanwhile, laugh for a moment with your dancing baby. Meanwhile, cook something spicy one night when you feel up to it -- put on some show music and dance while you are cooking, if you can, or sing along at full volume. Those few little spurts will help you to get along until suddenly you find you have emerged from another side of the dims. We are rooting for you.
You are in mourning, you are grieving the loss of way more than a job! It took me more than a year to feel normal after I was laid off from a much-loved job in publishing. Well, of course you are feeling sorry for yourself, but not in a negative way! It’s normal. It’s to be expected. Comparing this loss to any other loss isn’t helpful; loss is loss. I’m so sorry you’ve had to deal with this.
Daniela, thanks for sharing. I am 73 and went through several similar situations when I had two small boys, worked full time with a job that required me to be on call, a family to feed, laundry, cleaning ….etc. Thankfully I had a caring and supportive husband. Cut yourself some slack, keep talking and possibly find a counselor. You are strong and will survive. Just be patient….it’s difficult when you want to feel better NOW, but it will come. Trust me.
Oh, I'm so sorry you are going through this! Life is a combination of joy & sadness and sometimes managing all the feelings and stressors gets to be too much. Last year was my year of too much change and craziness. I dealt with some unexpected major health things and since I am a federal employee there was a lot of uncertainty and my agency lost large numbers of people including many senior leaders.
Please remember to look at change as an opportunity to do what gives you joy and to use some of the extra time you have now to take care of yourself, physically, mentally, spiritually, and creatively. Enjoy your son, your partner, your pets, and your environment. The world is very crazy right now so focus on keeping safe and sane right now.
Take some time to rethink what you want to do with your Substack. It doesn't have to replicate your WP column/ newsletter. Sharing something that inspires you once or twice a week while you decide what you want to focus on, then ramp up from there. I suspect that your fans will still be around when you decide what you will do next.
Please know how much your readers care about you and your writing. Please take the time you need to process, to feel, to integrate your loss along with the Earth's return to an abundant Spring, to comfort your friends, to delight in your son. Many of us are dealing with similar things and can certainly empathize. All best to you!
I understand. You are sad and angry and scared and unmoored because you lost a very important part of how you define yourself. Boy do I get it. And because you are tough and resilient and a successful shape-shifter--and known for being all those things-- it's hard for you to swallow that maybe you're vulnerable too, and don't quite have the answer yet. It'll be ok. Yeah, a lot of people have it a lot worse. Don't belittle your hurt or loss because it is real and just as valid. It'll be okay. There's a lot of us rooting for you, whatever you decide is right for you. Please take good care of yourself, so you can continue taking care of everybody else. Sending love. Courage my dear.
Hi Daniela - thanks for your honesty here, and always. Even in your sadness and concern about not being productive, you have shared something eloquent and true. Job loss is a condition to be mourned. The world is tough. And yet as you point out, cherry blossoms and toddlers and birds are part of every day, too. I don't have any answers for sadness but the world feels less lonely when it is all acknowledged. I remain a big, big fan and admirer. xo
Hang in there. Grief (I think that's another part of what you're experiencing, really)is like the ocean...you can be bobbing along and then just get walloped by a tsunami of feeling. Sounds like you're doing all the right things, feeling what you're feeling without having a perpetual pity party. Not that you don't know this...just wanting to do a little cheerleading for you. If it's any consolation, a lot of former Post readers like me are pissed and sad about the paper's demise. It really is a loss on a national level. I'm sorry you're experiencing it personally.
My job ended during COVID, so I took early retirement. I'm amazed to realize, I'm STILL sad, 5 years later. I think it's esp complicated when you're forced into a direction you did not intend to go, by events that are not your fault or even within your control. I feel for you.
There is an old Chasidic story/teaching that tells of souls in heaven who are terrified to descend into the physical world, fearing they will lose their divine connection and be corrupted by the darkness of earthly life. This is the story of the soul's longing for divine closeness and its struggle against the distractions of material existence. It tells us that when a soul is commanded to go back to Earth and be born with a new baby, it has forgotten all the divine calm, happiness and peace and that is why a newborn cries, because they are so afraid.
Your own soul, far from leaving you, is crying for what it knew, and you and your soul need time to relearn what comforted and enveloped you until now and to evolve from it. It takes time, it takes courage to let go and just like you wrote, to find joy, peace and comfort in the little things and in the people close to you. To find a new environment in which to blossom. Its physical borders may well be the same as those of the old one, but oh, how much has changed within.
Sadness can come during the happiest of times and happy moments can come during dark ones. There aren't any rules to what your heart can feel. I think letting all of this wash over you and not trying to control it or analyze it too much or label it is wise. Maybe you're feeling sorry for yourself or maybe you're not. It doesn't really matter. You wrote something beautiful. That matters. You're appreciating good moments and mourning the hard ones. Keep getting out of bed when you can and get back into it when you need to. I think this is just life right now and adding any judgment to how you're living it is unnecessary. Easier said than done, of course. But I think you're doing what you need to do, which is relinquishing control and just being, and soon you'll find your rhythm in whatever this new life is.
Dearest Daniela feel sad because that is appropriate, feel angry, feel your feelings because that is what it is to experience the loss of what was important to you. No one can tell you how or what or why or what you should feel. You will come back to yourself when you are ready.
If you take a break we will be here to join you.
Sending you the warmest hug and empathy.
My dear Ms. Galarza,
We understand your sadness (Daphne and I). The whole world seems to be in a place of dreadfulness right now.
Your columns and cooking tips have always been helpful to me. But your writing about other things in your life in the lead in to your recipes are always very important - they humanize the cooking, which is important to us home cooks. It really helps me in creating recipes and using yours effectively - I don't know why. Perhaps it is a function of being very nearly 90 years old.
I don't expect to live many more years. I'm very lucky to have made it this far, and to have a truly wonderful wife of 50 years. You inspire me to keep being useful with the cooking.
I have had some very close calls with death, some as a Naval aviator, another recently due medical problems. Good friends have helped recover from these things, but more difficult have been love gained and lost, before I met Daphne, and time living on the street when I lost my job. The stupidity of the Washington Post in eliminating 30% of their staff will haunt them. I never read the EV anymore. Treasure your child. By now I have great grandchildren.
Fell free to hibernate. Look to cooking when it comforts you. Send out a recipe when it seems worth while for the rest of us. We will always subscribe to whatever you can manage to produce. Write some poetry - has helped me in the past.
With Warmest Regards,
Michael and Daphne Ryan
(dmryan7@mac.com)
We have, most of us, been in that quicksand ourselves. Someday it will give way to something new, a new inspiration, a new ability to relax into comfort. Meanwhile, enjoy Frito. Meanwhile, laugh for a moment with your dancing baby. Meanwhile, cook something spicy one night when you feel up to it -- put on some show music and dance while you are cooking, if you can, or sing along at full volume. Those few little spurts will help you to get along until suddenly you find you have emerged from another side of the dims. We are rooting for you.
You are in mourning, you are grieving the loss of way more than a job! It took me more than a year to feel normal after I was laid off from a much-loved job in publishing. Well, of course you are feeling sorry for yourself, but not in a negative way! It’s normal. It’s to be expected. Comparing this loss to any other loss isn’t helpful; loss is loss. I’m so sorry you’ve had to deal with this.
Daniela, thanks for sharing. I am 73 and went through several similar situations when I had two small boys, worked full time with a job that required me to be on call, a family to feed, laundry, cleaning ….etc. Thankfully I had a caring and supportive husband. Cut yourself some slack, keep talking and possibly find a counselor. You are strong and will survive. Just be patient….it’s difficult when you want to feel better NOW, but it will come. Trust me.
Oh, I'm so sorry you are going through this! Life is a combination of joy & sadness and sometimes managing all the feelings and stressors gets to be too much. Last year was my year of too much change and craziness. I dealt with some unexpected major health things and since I am a federal employee there was a lot of uncertainty and my agency lost large numbers of people including many senior leaders.
Please remember to look at change as an opportunity to do what gives you joy and to use some of the extra time you have now to take care of yourself, physically, mentally, spiritually, and creatively. Enjoy your son, your partner, your pets, and your environment. The world is very crazy right now so focus on keeping safe and sane right now.
Take some time to rethink what you want to do with your Substack. It doesn't have to replicate your WP column/ newsletter. Sharing something that inspires you once or twice a week while you decide what you want to focus on, then ramp up from there. I suspect that your fans will still be around when you decide what you will do next.
Blessings to you and your people.
It is also ok to be angry. If I were a WaPo alum, I would be angry at what has happened there both personally and to a once revered organization.
Please know how much your readers care about you and your writing. Please take the time you need to process, to feel, to integrate your loss along with the Earth's return to an abundant Spring, to comfort your friends, to delight in your son. Many of us are dealing with similar things and can certainly empathize. All best to you!
I understand. You are sad and angry and scared and unmoored because you lost a very important part of how you define yourself. Boy do I get it. And because you are tough and resilient and a successful shape-shifter--and known for being all those things-- it's hard for you to swallow that maybe you're vulnerable too, and don't quite have the answer yet. It'll be ok. Yeah, a lot of people have it a lot worse. Don't belittle your hurt or loss because it is real and just as valid. It'll be okay. There's a lot of us rooting for you, whatever you decide is right for you. Please take good care of yourself, so you can continue taking care of everybody else. Sending love. Courage my dear.
Hi Daniela - thanks for your honesty here, and always. Even in your sadness and concern about not being productive, you have shared something eloquent and true. Job loss is a condition to be mourned. The world is tough. And yet as you point out, cherry blossoms and toddlers and birds are part of every day, too. I don't have any answers for sadness but the world feels less lonely when it is all acknowledged. I remain a big, big fan and admirer. xo
Hang in there. Grief (I think that's another part of what you're experiencing, really)is like the ocean...you can be bobbing along and then just get walloped by a tsunami of feeling. Sounds like you're doing all the right things, feeling what you're feeling without having a perpetual pity party. Not that you don't know this...just wanting to do a little cheerleading for you. If it's any consolation, a lot of former Post readers like me are pissed and sad about the paper's demise. It really is a loss on a national level. I'm sorry you're experiencing it personally.
It is ok to feel sad. Be gentle with yourself!
My job ended during COVID, so I took early retirement. I'm amazed to realize, I'm STILL sad, 5 years later. I think it's esp complicated when you're forced into a direction you did not intend to go, by events that are not your fault or even within your control. I feel for you.
There is an old Chasidic story/teaching that tells of souls in heaven who are terrified to descend into the physical world, fearing they will lose their divine connection and be corrupted by the darkness of earthly life. This is the story of the soul's longing for divine closeness and its struggle against the distractions of material existence. It tells us that when a soul is commanded to go back to Earth and be born with a new baby, it has forgotten all the divine calm, happiness and peace and that is why a newborn cries, because they are so afraid.
Your own soul, far from leaving you, is crying for what it knew, and you and your soul need time to relearn what comforted and enveloped you until now and to evolve from it. It takes time, it takes courage to let go and just like you wrote, to find joy, peace and comfort in the little things and in the people close to you. To find a new environment in which to blossom. Its physical borders may well be the same as those of the old one, but oh, how much has changed within.
Wishing you godspeed in your recovery and growth!